Out with the old

When I started writing about this journey, I suggested correlations to the Olympics starting at the same time. Amazing things have occurred on both fronts, from world records to a complete lack of side effects.

The Summer Games are over and no longer occupy our television and news feeds. Likewise, the cards have stopped coming and this blog is attracting fewer readers and comments.

It's OK, we're old news.

Tweets limited to 140 words, LOL/OMG texts and news blurbs have shortened our attention spans, and we're just too busy to delve into anything for very long.

Until we're ready to sleep.

Like the cartoon accompanying this blog (from a theme-park I can't recall) says, Editors don't sleep; we nap, doze, drowse or slumber.

Except that I apparently can do none of those in the hospital. Once I brushed away the obvious symptoms of illness, the peaceful escape of sleep began to elude me. Maybe it was being awakened at 12, 3 and 6 am for injections, vital sign checks and blood draws.

I've heard it takes 21 days to develop a habit, but I guess I'm a quick study. 

And likely not the only one with this issue. Phone apps and podcasts promising quick and restful sleep are all over the Internet. Even my oncologist had a recommendation! 

Of course, nothing in life is free, so the ads and promotions for other bed-friendly products must precede whatever calming, sleep-inducing technique you've chosen. NOT relaxing.

I've tried it all: bedtime stories, nature sounds, meditation, chamomile tea, a lavender sleep mask, even medication. The nurses have been wonderful in delaying or waiving their interruptions. The mind just refuses to shut down.

My brain needs a CTRL-ALT-DEL button.

It's always something

 Roseanne Rosannnadanna likely brings back memories for my older friends; those classic Saturday Night Live had me ROFL (before we turned everything to initials).

This past week has had plenty of moments ripe for Roseanne's diatribes. On Wednesday, th nurses informed us the city of Englewood (where this Swedish Hospital lives) had found e.coli in the drinking water.

Okaaaay, the exultant shower I'd enjoyed Monday was suddenly a threat to my embattled immune system. Seems the city found the bacteria in a routine monthly check on the first Monday. WHAT? They only check once every month??? 

Bottled water and hand sanitizer to the rescue... 

Then we learned our new neighborhood was seal-coating the roads over the next few weeks, requiring cars to be off the streets all day and leaving a pervasive rotten-egg smell. Trapped in your house with noxious air makes another week in the hospital seem like a vacation!

Vacation or not, the 300sf room is losing its appeal, and this morning's talk with the oncologist tarnished that even more and dashed my hopes to be home before my son leaves for college.

I know they want to be extra careful -- allowing time to see how my body responded to the treatment (the more pleasant word for chemo) and ensuring that I am in  good place to receive any additional antibiotics or blood products and, of course, avoid outside infection.

Still, part of keeping up my spirits was the thought of my husband, kids and I gathered around a table enjoying each other as adults. Even with the rotten-egg smell.

Small victories are still winning

 OK, so that last post was a little downbeat, but I'm better now.  I got to go outside yesterday!! First time in almost two weeks, and (thanks to my amazing nurse) I was able to surprise my husband and son on their way in to see me!!!

And my daughter, visiting from Chicago to help out, brought me real clothes today. As much as I appreciated the upgrade to a blue gown a week or so ago, my own things feel so much more comfortable -- and human. 

But the thing that totally buoys and amazes me if the incredible love I feel from all corners. My church family and other friends in Boulder pepper me with beautiful cards and notes. 

And -- this is so amazing-- the Labor Day reunion of long-time girlfriends I was so sad to miss has relocated to Colorado for ME. Those three smart, sassy women changed flights and worked it out so we CAN all be together. I can't wait to show them my beautiful Colorado.

For now, though, the biopsy is set for next Thursday, and likely discharge the Monday after. Onward....

Dashed hopes, future dreams

 Like the triumphs, upsets, disappointments and amazing moments of the 2021 Olympics, this leukemia journey has followed the path of the unexpected, awe-inspiring and just a little upsetting.

Today, as we discussed when I might be released (Aug. 16, cross your fingers), the oncologist mentioned that it would not be the end. I will have to continue with chemotherapy, on an outpatient basis.

This is not a cold that goes away. Even the big, bad drugs cannot kill it forever.

Suffice it to say, that threw me for a loop.

Somehow I thought I would do my time in the hospital and come out on the other side as before. July/August 2021 was the sick month. Turn the page to September and I'll be right as rain. I almost even booked a flight to Texas for a reunion of girlfriends on Labor Day.

Nope. The road may be a little longer than I thought it would be, but it's not a dead end.

Hit me with your last shot

 Two down, one to go! The second part of my chemo regime ended at 3 am this morning with the last shot into my abdomen.

Eleven more days of four giant pills, and that'll be it.

So the question is, do I need to be in the hospital to swallow meds? Of course not. 

What I do need is to be verrry, verry careful to not pick up a stray germ that could wreak havoc on my non-existent immune system.

Here at Swedish, everything is focused on that objective: daily room cleaning, nightly bed changes, a antiseptic wipedown and fresh gown. And then there's the watchful presence of the league of angels who attend to my slightest wish. 

Annoying as it is, their 3am vital-sign check and blood draw works to keep me safe and inform the doctors if something isn't looking right in time to fix it.

I'm almost down the mountain now, so I just need to power through the inconveniences. 

And thrice-daily room service...

No strings on me

 I'm freeeeee! The Blue Fairy granted the wish for me to lose the oxygen tubing last night and I'm holding steady with 90-ish percent blood oxygen, which is totally normal here at altitude.

I'll still get the occasional antibiotic, blood product or other fluid  through the IV as these amazing professionals keep track of the complex system that is our body.

So now we wait. Sitting in a hospital bed doesn't carry the same temptations of Pinocchio's Pleasure Island but it is a scary new world out there. From Covid to plain ol' pollen, anything could trigger infection.  

This gives me a chance to offer a shout-out to a really neat product for this very situation: My sister-in-law Sally found Fresh Cut Paper to send a beautiful 3D pop-up bouquet. No mess, no watering, just the floral fanfare!

At least I have pretty things to look at even though I'd love to be home in my pine-shaded bedroom. Part of being a real boy is weighing the risks and benefits and listening to the wisdom of my own Jiminy Crickets.

Cresting the peak

 In Colorado, we love our mountain analogies. I started this journey almost 2 weeks ago, and I probably have about two weeks of hospital time to go. So, I've climbed my 14er...

Though it really has not been a mountain for me. I've been so very lucky, and I credit the well wishes of so many in my life. But sometimes the way down the mountain is just as perilous. 

I have virtually no natural defenses now so infection is a real worry. That's why I get to enjoy the amenities of Swedish Medical Center a few more weeks. 

The people here are amazing. From the sweet little lady who cleans my room to the legions of caring, smart, encouraging, all-around amazing nurses, the team here is top notch. 

With that team and your thoughts, it won't be hard to get back on solid ground.